Quick Wit

Here's some of the funny things that I have heard or said over the past few days. Hope you enjoy!
So, I'm currently living with one of the coolest people ever. (We'll call him D. Purnell--no, Dustin P.--to protect the innocent). He's Canadian living in the United States for schooling. What makes it particularly fun is that Dustin takes nearly everything I say seriously, at least until he realizes that I was joking. I get such a pleasure from saying a really punny comment, waiting for a few seconds, and then seeing the lights come on.
The other day we were talking about how when engineers in Canada become professionals they receive an engineering ring. The two engineers in the room, Dustin P. not included, then proceeded to say that in America we don't generally do that, but that it isn't unheard of. We then asked the fountain of all knowledge (Wikipedia) for the origin of such a practice. Apparently, the bestowal of an engineering ring originiated in Canada and migrated to the United States. Astonished by the mere possibility that something of Canadian origin moved to the US, Dustin P. exclaimed, "How often does that happen?"
"Well, Canadians do it all the time," I said.

Speaking of Canadians, I have a friend, Ms. Bennett I like to call her, that likes to ask lots of questions when she hasn't seen a person in a long while. Here's some of her questions and my answers in a recent email I sent.
Ms. Bennett: When introducing yourself, do you say that you are good friends with Ms. Bennett?
Mr. Darcy (Me): How could I not. They have Billboards everywhere mourning your loss. It's all I can do to console them.
Bennett: Have you been on any dates?
Darcy: Well, I stood on my calendar by accident, if that's what you mean.
Bennett: How's work?
Darcy:It's give and take. They give me money and I take it.
Bennett:What's the moral of "The Tortoise and the Hare"?
Darcy: There's a few of them. First, if you are fast, you should take a break for a long time because you will still finish the race. Second, comparing apples to oranges was never effective anyway. Third, there are way more turtles than hares, and the minority wins by default. And fourth, you can't tip a cow over.

My final funny story comes from last year. It's titled, That's Against the Honor Code.
So I was going to work last year and the custodial posted numerous signs up and down the hallway indicating that they were intending to refinishing the floor later in the week. I didn't think anything of it until I read it again the next day:
"Custodial will be stripping and waxing in this hallway on May 25 2010. If you need access during this time please contact Custodial at 422-5555."
"Hmmm..." I thought to myself, "That's definitely against the honor code."
It's amazing what one little preposition will do to the meaning of a sentence.